Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
