End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
