I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize