let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i believe in u and ur pee
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
