i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
