She is in my trunk
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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