Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
