Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
