And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
