Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He better not be in your backpack
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize