i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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