she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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