"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
