Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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