you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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