Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
