i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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