He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
