WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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