Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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