She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
