Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He better not be in your backpack
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
