It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
