Screwed.edu
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
