Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
