; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
