Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
