I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
