It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
