I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
