So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
