I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
