We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Are we still banned from the library?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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