I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
