When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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