I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize