So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm at about main and main street
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
