You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Drake has all the answers
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
