Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
