fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
