i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think I am morally bankrupt
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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