big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize