I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
