Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's official drugs can't kill me
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
