I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
