I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
