I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
