i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
