I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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