Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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