Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
