Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
