if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
