Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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