I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I AM VODKA MAN
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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