Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
