who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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