I hate your face
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
