Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
