Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
