My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
