Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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