I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
