just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
