after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm both gender and math confused
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
