I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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